I attended this wedding, and I cannot help, but chronicle some of the beautiful Nigerian traditional marriage practices, people, and attires I observed and interacted with… These are my people. My culture and traditions.
Nigerian Traditional Marriage in Dallas TX chronicles events at a traditional wedding between two people from slightly different Cultures. I love Culture and Tradition. Because Traditional Norms and Cultural Practices take us back to Our Roots, as well as to the roots, of others.
Therefore, these practices create our respective Identities. Today, I am bringing the most beautiful, humorous, colorful and joyful Church Blessing. and Traditional Marriage ceremonies of Two Individuals who are close to my heart, Yet they are from Slightly different cultures, which have both similar and dissimilar Traditional Marriage Norms.
The Bride, Dymond is from Aniocha, Delta State in Nigeria. And the Groom, Steel hails from Abia state also in Nigeria. The Marriage Ceremony spanned throughout the whole day. And, the day was imbued with Festivity, Laughter, Joy and Love. I can not help, but mention there was so much dancing during the Traditional Marriage portion of the ceremony that I had to remove my shoes to really boogie down… Lol!! Please do not judge me.
The Icing on the Cake
While dancing and catching up with friends, and in laws we hadn’t seen in a long time, and developing new relationships, my partner said to me, “baby, I feel like marrying you again…” How sweet was that? You tell me…
Now, let’s go through what was happening throughout the day on the 28th of October 2023 from Late Morning to Early Hours of the Next Morning, the 29th of October,
Getting Ready in the Morning for the Church Blessing Between Dymond and Steel
Today, the 28th of October at 11am we witnessed the officiation of the “Church Blessing” ceremony for the Bride and Groom by the Most Vibrant, Humorous and Spiritually attuned pastor I had seen and listened to in a very long time. Oh No! I am thinking I will be more accurate to say this is the first time I have attended a wedding with such a Jovial, yet Spirit Filled pastor.
I am going to start from the very beginning. Getting ready for the Church Blessing.
Here are some pictures showing us (that is my family and I) ready to go for the Church Blessing.
Church Blessing for the Union Between the Groom and Bride
We were planning to leave home for the Church Blessing at 10: 15am. But first, we decided to take some pictures. Therefore, we left home for the Church Blessing at 10:30 am. A little later rather than sooner. We drove in a convoy of two cars. We arrived at the Venue at 11:05am. Ha!! It was surprising we were not running on “Nigerian Time.” Usually,10:00am in Nigerian Time is synonymous to 12 noon. We arrived at the Church Blessing venue just before the Service began.
We were feeling upbeat by the time we arrived for the Church Blessing ceremony. Partly because we arrived in good time. And also because… Can you guess? Ok. I’d tell you. We were playing Afro beat music all the way from home to the venue. It was a 45 minutes commute. And, of course, there was car dancing all the way to the venue… You can’t beat that…
The Venue
The decorations at the Venue was beautiful. It was very easy for us to locate our seats because we arrived “super” early. Well early according to Nigerian timing. After we located our seats, we started mingling with the crowd. We had a great time exchanging pleasantries with cousins, close friends and in laws. who were also present at the Church Blessing.
As it is customary in the Traditions of most Aniocha South Tribes in Delta state in Nigeria, when the parents of a Bride are no longer on this side, but have transitions into the beyond; the Oldest Relative, or First Daughter and First Son of within that household become the Parents of the Day during the marriage ceremonies of other siblings. Dymond’s Oldest Brother walked her down the aisle. Her Oldest brother was representing their Father. The Father of the Day is my partner, Chuck.
This is A Video showing Snippets of the Church Blessing Ceremony – Simply Beautiful
The Nigerian Traditional Marriage in Dallas, TX. The Ceremony – the Ibo Traditional Marriage Rites
- The Traditional Marriage between Dymond and Steel was to start at 6pm on the same day as the Church Blessing. At this point, there is a question worth answering. According to Aniocha traditions, just like in most, if not all cultures in Nigeria, the traditional marriage takes place at the ancestral home of the Bride. In most cases it is at the Bride’s parents home, or any other Blood Relatives’ home if the Bride’s parents are not available. Be it that they do not have enough room in their home. Or, the parents of the Bride do not have a large enough compound to host such a ceremony with a large number of people.
- Due to certain circumstances Dymond and Steel made adaptations to their Traditional Marriage ceremony. First and foremost, Dymond and Steel both live in the diaspora. So it was very natural, since Dymond’s parents are no longer with us, the city of residence of Dymond’s oldest paternal uncle became the Rightful Ancestral Home to celebrate the Traditional Union between Dymond and Steel. I must say the adaptations were well within the dictates of the Aniocha Traditional Marriage Norms.
The Nigerian Traditional Marriage in Dallas, TX Between Dymond and Steel
The traditional marriage also took place in Dallas TX. The number of people in attendance was unbelievable. Ok, I feel I have to give some specifics here. There were family members and mostly friends from all over the US. And, outside the US such as from England, Canada and Nigeria. I truly believe aside from my family who lives in Texas, I think everyone of us who attended one, or both ceremonies travelled to Dallas TX to witness the ceremony. Additionally, to honor the newly weds. Ok. lets go into some details on the venue and attires at the traditional wedding.
The Venue
The venue for the Nigerian Traditional Marriage between Dymond and Steel was about 10 minutes away from where the Church Blessing took place, However, we drove home which is about 45 minutes away from the church blessing venue. For the Nigerian Traditional Marriage, my partner had to leave earlier than the rest of us because was the Father of the Day.
Because he was the Father of the Day, Chuck was responsible for give out his younger sister out in marriage. His duties included being an active participant n negotiating Dymond’s Dowry/Bride Price, and with performing all other Traditional Rites.
So my partner left home and he arrived at the Nigerian Traditional Marriage venue at 5:35pm. There was some Nigerian time syndrome going on, this time. A few minutes past 6 o’clock in the evening, we also left the house for the Traditional Marriage ceremony. Come along and check out our attires – they were very vibrant. The color scheme for the Nigeria Traditional Marriage was Emerald Green and Gold, Here, we go…
Attires for the Nigerian Traditional Marriage in Dallas, TX
Nigerian Traditional Occasions are usually a big deal. Nigerians attending parties in the diaspora usually plan their outfits months ahead of time. In the diaspora, Nigerians are often dressed up to the nines for ceremonies and parties – they look gorgeous and flamboyant. I am hoping I’d be able to figure out consistently how to create, merge, and edit videos to visibly show what some of these beautiful people looked like during this Grand occasion in Dallas TX.
Groom and his Bride as Man and Wife after the Nigerian Traditional Marriage in Dallas TX
Attires Worn By Guests at the Nigerian Traditional Marriage in Dallas, TX
See Below
Wait until you see the Pictures I have to Show you!
Let’s look at the Differences and Similarities in the Traditional Marriage processes between Aniocha, Delta State, and Abia State, both in Nigeria. When comparing the Traditional Rites Requirements to Marrying a woman from Aniocha, Delta State and Abia State, subtle difference exist. Perhaps, the similarities in Traditional Marriage Rites might be as a result of belonging to Ibo tribe. The dissimilarities might be due to being located in different geographical locations, and different dialects.
There are many different dialects of the Igbo language in Nigeria. It was surprising to discover we have about 30 Igbo dialects in Nigeria. Even more eye opening is the fact there are 44 million people. who speak the Igbo language in Nigeria. You can get more information on the origins of the Igbo language, and some Igbo Language dialogue lessons here.
Like I mentioned earlier there are subtle variations between the Traditional Marriage practices from one Ibo community to the next. Since the Bride and Groom in this article are from different Ibo communities, it is only reasonable there will be a variation in the Traditional Marriage practices between Aniocha, Delta State (bride), and Abia State (groom).
I shall provide a brief synopsis of the basic, and general traditional practices and processes involved when one is seeking a Wife in Ibo Land.
Basic Steps to Marrying a Wife in Ibo Land in Nigeria
First thing that a groom who wants to marry an Ibo bride will have to do is make a Marriage inquiry known as “Ikutu eka,” Iju ese,” or Iku aka.” Or, some other Igbo dialect variant. This, of course depends on the Ibo tribes in question. Iju ese means the groom, who is accompanied by his father officially expresses his interest in marrying the daughter of his prospective in-laws.
Second, the groom has to seek consent from his prospective in-laws’ extended family to marry his bride to be known traditionally as “Ndi nna,” or “Umunna,” The name given to this process is also dependent on the Igbo sub tribe in question. In some regions in Ibo land, this process is known as “mai juru.” Mai juru literally means wine to make inquiries if consent will be given.
This can be interpreted as the groom and his extended family brining wine to their prospective in-laws to further consolidate their noble intensions to marry his prospective wife.
More Basic Traditional Practices in Ibo Land here…
Third agenda involves the Dowry or Bride price negotiations. and payment. This process is only embarked upon after both families have come to an agreement that their children and families are a good fit. The Dowry, or Bride Price payment is known, or is called the “Ime ego,” or some other variants in the Igbo language. Of course this also depends on the Ibo sub- tribe and dialect in question.
Then, the fourth basic process is the Wine-Carrying Ceremony known as “Igbu ulo,” “Igba nkwu nwanyi” or “Idu ụlọ.” During this stage of the Ibo Traditional Marriage process the groom comes back to the bride to be’s home with a large entourage of people that includes friends. The bride to be’s family lavishly hosts the prospective groom, and all those who accompany him.
During this last part of the Traditional Marriage in Ibo land, the bride’s parent/extended family give the bride different items as she steps into her new phase of life as a married woman. According to the Group by Black Truth, “all these must be completed and the bride’s people must be satisfied before the groom can take away his new wife home…” Next, let us compare some of the Nigerian Traditional Marriage Rites in Aniocha, Delta State and Abia State, both in Nigeria
Comparing Nigerian Traditional Marriage in Aniocha, Delta State versus Abia State
The Bride of the Day, Dymond hails from Aniocha in Delta State. Her Groom is from Abia State. Therefore, I will be exploring the Traditional Marriage Rites in Aniocha, Delta State and how these may be similar, and/or different from what is obtainable in Abia State, in Nigeria.
Dymond’s Bride Price/Dowry – Nigerian Traditional Marriage in Dallas, TX
In Ibo land, the Bride Price is symbolizes a commitment to the marriage. The Dowry is believed to represent an unbreakable bond between man and woman. In some regions in Ibo land the Bride Price/Dowry is fluid. Yet, in other areas such as in Abiriba in Abia State, the Bride Price/Dowry is fixed. The Dowry is approximately “six pounds” in Abiriba. Among some other Ibo communities the Dowry is between N40 to N80.
There is mixed data on the Bride Price/Dowry in some communities in Abia State, and within other tribes in Nigerian, which sometimes runs into millions of Naira. I truly think and feel these high Dowries and Bride Prices commodify, objectify and compromises the newly wedded woman at the onset of her marriage. This is not a good practice in my eyes. You can read more about this new high Bride Price trend in Nigeria here.
However, since I am talking about Dowry in Aniocha, Delta State, It observed Dymond’s Father of the Day and her extended Family negotiated a very reasonably low Bride Price.
Why was such a Low Dowry Negotiated?
- The idea behind the very low Dowry Price, is that Dymond hails from a middle class family, which symbolically suggests the Bride to be’s family does not need their prospective in-laws to Feed Them.
- Additionally, they (i.e., the Bride’s family) want the groom to keep his money so he has enough money to adequately cater to, and provide for all his newly married wife’s needs, Now and Always. These are symbolic ideas. But these ideologies make complete sense. Doesn’t they? .
List of Items for Dymond’s Kith and Kin in Aniocha, Delta State
Typically the items for the Bride to be’s kith and kin are listed out and given to the groom. In some Ibo communities, this list of items runs into millions of Naira.
- However, since both Dymond and Steel both live in the diaspora, the List was tailored towards only that which is absolutely Traditionally and Culturally informed and necessary.
- The List at the Nigerian Traditional Marriage in Dallas TX, this past weekend was equally very reasonably Short. However, the Groom’s family used their discretion and they gave extra money because they acknowledged a lot of money went towards the Bride’s education and training in Medical School.
- Moreover, most of the items except for alcoholic and non alcoholic beverages were monetized. This means. money was provided to buy the items on the list for the Bride’s family kith and kin.
- The Bride’s paternal uncle gave the Father of the Day the charge to distribute the money to those family relatives back in Aniocha, Delta State.
After the Traditional Rites were concluded, there was Booze, great tasting Food and a lot of lovely sounding Music. Interestingly, there was also Fine Wine. My sister is a Wine drinker and she confirmed Fine Wine was served, I bet the Wine and Beer paired very well with the Nigerian Cuisine served, and Music played.
It was a very Grand, Enjoyable, Fun Filled and Joyous Traditional Marriage Occasion. I am very Pleased I spent yesterday having so much Fun, while also Witnessing the Solemn Union between A Man and A Woman.
By the way, I belong to a Fine wine club called the DTCA Fine Wine club. The Wine is Exquisite and Truly Fine because it is produced from the best grapes and curated naturally. Follow here for more information.
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